Tag Archives: commercials

CBS People's Choice Awards promos are the latest victims of the Writers Strike

Next month’s People’s Choice Awards ceremony on CBS already sounds like it’s going to be a disaster without writers on-hand to make Jessica Alba sound witty(ish).

But it’s even worse than you imagined. Check out this screenshot I took from the commercial that’s advertising the event as a night with “all your favorites from movies, music and…”

T-E-L-E-V-I-S-O-N, people.

So in addition to the writers’ strike, there also appears to be a concurrent copy editors’ strike going on as well. And both have apparently resulted in such a catastrophic loss of revenue that all access to Merriam-Webster Online has been cut off.

Hips don’t lie, but Nine West ads sure do


Dear Nine West,

Fuck you.

No, seriously, fuck you.

Recognize that ad? You should. It’s yours and I saw it not less than three different places in the course of Web-surfing today.

Sure, that’s probably a clever play on words, but you and I both know that high-waisted jeans only look good on women who don’t have hips anyhow. And since Michelle Pfeiffer’s corpse – or whomever it is in that ad there – doesn’t appear to have hips to begin with, it’s a bit like putting anti-wrinkle cream on a five-year-old, isn’t it?

While it’s bad enough you’re trying to sell an illusion, I’m more bothered by what that ad represents. I get that there might be some women who might be thrilled by the prospect of jeans that minimize the appearance of their hips. And I should probably respect their choices and blah blah blah, but I can’t help but think ads like this are the reason that some women think they NEED to minimize their hips in the first place.

I know you’re trying to sell “the new Nine West” in all your ads, but it’s pretty obvious that you’re peddling the same old bullshit.

Sincerely,
Our Man In Chicago

Selling out revisited

I received a press release today that contained this as its lede:

“Legendary BRONX ART FUNK group ESG (who will have the new feature song on Mini Cooper commercials nationally) will perform their LAST EVER SHOW in Chicago at the Estrojam Festival Friday, Sept 21st.”

Now, initially I felt this was the perfect indictment of the theory I’d previously railed against in a blog post not too long ago: that selling out is actually a good thing. But it turns out it’s not that simple. From Wikipedia:

“On May 9, 2007, ESG drummer Valerie Scroggins was indicted by a Brooklyn grand jury on charges of taking more than $13,000 in workers’ compensation payments. Scroggins, a bus driver for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (New York), told them that she suffered a shoulder injury last September. In November, Scroggins went on tour with ESG, where an MTA investigator filmed her playing “drums for an hour or more and on every song the band played, doing things very similar to actions she told her employers she could not perform,” according to the Brooklyn DA’s press release. Scroggins asserts that her injury is legitimate and that she could not safely drive a bus.”

So not only does the inclusion of your song in a commercial not lead to financial solvency, it doesn’t even mean that a member of a band with both longevity and respect – and ESG do have both – won’t consider committing (alleged) fraud in order to make ends meet.

I don’t mean to suggest there’s a cause and effect relationship here, but it’s far from a panacea either.

Selling out is great for bands…who don't really want to be in bands

Miles Raymer attempts to defend “selling out” in this week’s Chicago Reader. I admire the contraiainist effort, but he never quite justifies why more commercial usage of music “might be just what the music industry needs.” Artists have been offering begrudging nods to commercial licensing for a few years now, ever since Moby showed it was both financially rewarding, and didn’t lead to becoming a complete asshole in the process. But this newish aspect of music labels’ business plans hasn’t exactly infused them with scads of cash, as Raymer notes.

So it’s not exactly reaping a whirlwind for labels, but it’s obviously helping new bands find an audience, right? Well, no. The reason why is simple: licensing music for commercial purposes doesn’t create new fans for a band, it only associates the band with a moment in time, or with a particular movement, which makes it all the easier for any new fans they’ve acquired to move on when the moment is over.

There’s a much longer post to be written on just this point, but music – particularly the big tent that the term “indie rock music” has come to represent – is much more commodified now than it ever was before. Where it used to be that a certain segment of the population sought out the hot new restaurant or the hipper-than-thou nightclub as a way to show they were on the cutting edge of what was “in,” this same segment now accomplishes that by seeking out information about which bands are being touted as the next big thing.

It’s easier to do that now because the information about which bands are new and breaking is everywhere, and not spread by word-of-mouth or via record stores that most folks wouldn’t step foot in. It would be fine if this kind of re-purposing of music were merely confined to commerce, but the problem is that these people are showing up at live shows as well, with little respect for the culture created around it. (If Wilco wants to “get the music out there,” good for them. But if they do it by selling off their tunes to car companies, they shouldn’t be surprised if more guys like this start coming to their shows.)

When you directly associate your music with commerce – that is, when the music is used to sell something other than an album, CD or MP3 – it’s likely that the audience you reach will associate it that way, as well. Therefore, your music becomes nothing more than a plate of grilled salmon, a gin and tonic, or a pair of trendy new jeans. It’s something to be consumed at that time, without much thought given to it after it’s outlived its utility.

So licensing ultimately fails to expand or develop an audience. I know that many people thought that Moby allowing the majority of his Play album to be used for commercial purposes was a bold way of reaching a wider audience, but a few years on and that new audience of his has all but disappeared, leaving him struggling to sign with a label until recently. The Shins – an example Raymer uses to illustrate the positive effects of “selling out” – will probably never escape its Garden State association, and will probably rise and fall depending on how long the “Braff rock” trend lasts.

The band The Caesars went from being a never-were to a has-been in the blink of an eye, despite the ubiquity of its single “Jerk It Out,” first heard in iPod commercials. The Servant had a song called “Cells” in the trailer for Sin City, but it didn’t help its next album “How To Destroy A Relationship” get a U.S. release. Bodyrockers’ song “I Like The Way” was used in a Diet Coke ad, the show Las Vegas, and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in 2005. In fact, you probably know the song without even realizing it. Listen to it at their website, and you’ll probably find yourself saying “Oh that song!” like I did. Yet the name “Bodyrockers” meant nothing to me, and probably means nothing to a lot of other people since their self-titled album is also only available on import, and the News section of their site has been sorely lacking any if it since December of 2005.

And bands with a built-in audience should perhaps be wary of going the commercial route, too. Wilco certainly took it on the chin from their long-time fans. Sonic Youth can justify selling CDs through Starbucks and re-release its classic albums all it wants, but its audience isn’t fooled. (Perhaps as Jessica Hopper goes, so goes the Daydream Nation?)

I’m not denying that a band allowing its music to be used in a commercial is a good way to get a short-term infusion of cash. Raymer’s best argument in the piece is that if bands that make a living through music “can’t stay safely in the black by playing gigs or selling records, some of them are bound to choose licensing deals and sponsorships over day jobs or credit-card debt.” I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing if letting Volkswagen use my songs meant I could devote my life to making music. But I don’t think it would. More likely, it means your band will be no more memorable to the average listener than the can of Coke they just tossed in the trash. And rather than allow you to leave that day job and devote your life to creating music, it’s more likely to leave you still trying to sell your latest CD to uninterested audiences, only this time you’ll be selling it to them with an orange crème frappuccino.

Random notes

Has anyone else seen the new commercial for the BMW 5 series? I wouldn’t normally have noticed for two reasons:

1. I rock the Tivo.
2. I have no money, and can barely afford a ride in one of those bike rickshaws, much less a BMW.

In any case, a chassis is seen cruising the streets as this black goo surrounds the car, creating the steering wheel, the seats, and the rest of the vehicle. I kept waiting to hear “You can see the new BMW 5 series in Spider-Man 3“, but it never happened.

The rest of this is mostly local, so I apologize to those folks from Sweden who keep ending up here as the result of Google searches for Naked Eyes songs.

Leave it to the University of Chicago to make fun complicated. Next up, a kegger which requires you to brew your own beer first.

Chicagoans: remember how Radiohead was denied a permit to perform at Millennium Park, and we all laughed at the rubes who wouldn’t let the “dangerous” rock band play in the pretty park? Well, maybe they had a point. Because apparently when you mix rock and rich people venues, it causes Skip, Lance and Reginald to start some m’f’in’ shit! Seriously? At a Ben Folds show? At the Boston Pops? Rockin’ the suburbs indeed.

Finally, TOC just launched its Summer Festival Guide. We’ve got all the street fests laid out for you, plus articles, interviews, etc. Look for more updates throughout the summer. Yours truly contributed a do’s and don’ts list with some valuable tips to keep you from puking, looking like a stalker or acting like a jackass this summer.

Sometimes tomorrow is farther away than you think

I know this Sheryl Crow commercial’s been around since the Super Bowl, and I thought it was heinous then. But another thought struck me this week. Do the folks at Revlon realize that by enlisting the narrator from “Behind The Music,” they’ve missed verisimilitude and headed straight into full-on parody?

Admittedly, this one doesn’t play as badly as the one right now that purports to show her on Week 4. If you TIVO’ed this week’s 30 Rock, watch for it in the first break. If that doesn’t play like a Saturday Night Live sketch, I don’t know what doesn’t.

Thoughts on the Bears’ 2007 divisional playoff game (last five minutes of regulation)

So in the last five minutes of the game, the Bears – heretofore not playing stellar ball – look as if they’ve blown a first down and Fox cuts to a commercial. They return to explain that, in fact, said first down was not blown after officials brought out the chains and a couple plays later the game is tied at 24-24 with 4:24 left to play. Joe Buck then reminds viewers that the television series “24” premieres tonight on Fox.

Coincidence?

Speaking of sports commentators, Klosterman on the second acts of desperate men.

Also, what’s with the T.G.I.Friday’s “three-course menu.” You choose an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. Isn’t that just called … eating?

What were the conversations like at the pitch meeting for that Hummer commercial set to the music of Badly Drawn Boy? “Hmm. Dreamy, atmospheric pop and breathy male vocals. Yes, I believe this perfectly encapsulates the image we want for our vehicle. And not near as expensive as Coldplay!”