…whatever happened to the casual relationship America used to have with Scott Baio? He was sort of like Leap Year. Every few years you’d hear about some hot woman he was having sex with, then respond with something akin to “Wow, how does that guy do it?” then make a Joanie Loves Chachi reference and be done with him until the next time.
OK, that’s a bit of a stretch. But this transit bill has been taking up an inordinate amount of my time at work what with interviewing the governor’s spokesperson, pointing out Blago’s own confusion over the bill, and live-blogging the Illinois House vote. As Yoda would say, tired I am.
Of course, it’s not over. We still don’t know who’s going to end up paying for free rides for seniors (hint: it’s probably you come 2009), whether we’re going to get a capital bill anytime soon and whether there will be blowback when people realize not all seniors will get free rides (only the RTA area and 14 downstate districts).
Barring any other Illinois governmental hijinx, next week I’ll be rolling out my “25 in 12” series of book reviews here.
Amen for newspapers and the Internet. On Thursday night after the governor revealed his plan, the local TV news shows – including the normally excellent Chicago Tonight – were reporting the governor’s back-door deal of free rides for seniors as a sure thing (and feeding into Blago’s self-creafted image as some Capra-esque pol while they did it). But the next day, online critics, and local print outlets are pointing out that the gov’s plan is both poor government and not the economic incentive he thinks it is. A commenter on a TOC post I wrote last week noted that a Chicago senior citizen would have to spend $70,000 on taxable goods in order to offset the $176 lost revenue from their free CTA pass (using the gov’s own numbers based on a twice-a-week ridership)
Now television news* has joined with the party, rightly pointing out that even the $19 million isn’t enough, as rates might have to be raised to cover the free rides. I know “the media” gets a lot of flak for being the tail that wags the dog, but television news is the worst offender.
Most seniors are not hurting because of transit costs – and not near as much as those who live near the poverty line – so this is a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist, and the creation of a problem for which there is now no solution, since legislators are now faced with a pass-it-or-perish situation. So in that way, you could argue that the bill is a sure thing since it does give pols some political cover. Then again, downstate legislators (and know-nothing suburban reps like Christine Radogno) have gone out of their way to avoid some pretty obvious solutions in the past, and that’s why the transit crisis is – to quote Frank Stallone – far from over.
* Hey Trib, if you’re going to create a video-only site that’s largely dependent on your own branded content, just go whole hog with it so people can find clips for local news events. And also, let’s get working on an embed code, huh?
Dear Marilyn (née Brian Warner):
Hey, how’s it going? Not sure if you’re aware of this, but here is an excerpt from a press release I received yesterday about your upcoming tour. The CAPS are your publicist’s own:
EAT HIM, DRINK HIM,
DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH HIM:
“MUTILATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY”
MANSON IS ON TOUR AGAIN
That was the first one. Then here were some other excerpts from yet another release I received not two hours later:
“Joining Manson and Twiggy onstage for the U.S. leg of the Rape of the World Tour…”
“Expectations for the upcoming tour are best described by quoting one of Manson’s most infamous lyrics, ‘Everyone will suffer now’.”
“Looks like the shit is gonna hit the FANS.”
Really, dude? “Rape of the World?” “The shit is gonna hit the FANS?” What does that even mean?
Just stop this nonsense. Do you know that every time something like this happens, you remind people of this Onion headline? It’s true. Don’t stop trying to make a career of it, but let’s maybe think about some minor adjustments to the marketing plan, OK?
Sincerely,
Our Man In Chicago
As I’ve previously mentioned, Wednesdays are the days that Team Web puts up the new issue at TOC, and it’s also the day that the Hard Rock Cafe: Heavy Metal compilation gets a healthy amount of use.
(Sidebar: Since the White Lion Revelation, I’ve found myself paying closer attention to the lyrics on this album, as well as other cock rock classics. As such, I usually hit the skip button when “Lay It Down” by Ratt cues up since I can no longer countenance lyrics like “I’m into total affection/Not being scared if you never please me.” Let’s be honest here: how “scared” were the members of Ratt that your average groupie was going to be unable to “please” them? I’m fairly certain that this was a low-set bar. Similarly, I was also struck by the lyrics to “C’mon and Love Me” by KISS: “She’s a dancer, a romancer/I’m a Capricorn and she’s a Cancer.” KISS, where do you get your ideas?)
As such, I was listening to Lita Ford’s “Kiss My Deadly,” a song I’ve been familiar since I bought it during an early 90s excursion to the local Phar-Mor (picture a low-rent Jewel combined with the record and tape selection that approximates the catalog selections one would find at a modern-day Circuit City ) 
where I purchased the eponymous Lita based largely on the cover (at right) and my friend Rick’s endorsement of the Ozzy/Lita duet “Close Your Eyes Forever” which we can all agree, in retrospect, is not near as cool as we remember it being. For those whose memories fail them, here’s a sample, but it gets worse from here when the drums kick in around 2:45:
MP3 excerpt – Lita Ford and Ozzy Osboune – “Close My Eyes Forever”
This is a good lesson for all of us: never buy music based solely on the endorsement of a 16 year-old.
ANYWAY, in all my years of listening to “Kiss Me Deadly,” I never noticed the audible “sniff” that occurs at approximately 20.40 seconds into the song right after the lyric about Lita’s unfortunate, but nominal, traffic and financial difficulties. To whit:
MP3 excerpt – Lita Ford – “Kiss Me Deadly”
What’s going on there? A defiant sniffle in the face of the aforementioned patriarchal groveling? One last bit of nose candy before the rocking commences? It’s a rather minor occurrence in the overall song. In fact, you can see the audio waves created by “the sniff” barely register (note the highlighted portions below):
I used to think “Kiss Me Deadly” was a great song but I fear this “sniff” is going to lead to an obsession with it. So I’m really hoping someone can supply an explanation before it takes over my life.
Conversation between me and my lady yesterday:
Me: Look at this.
Me: Shut up, Janet.
My Lady: I am going to be sick.
My Lady: Please promise me that no matter what we do, we never have sex to a Janet Jackson album.
My Lady: And not just because I don’t want us having babies before we’re ready.
Me: Done.
Me: I reserve the right to have sex with you ON a Janet Jackson album.
My Lady: Oh that’s fine.
Me: Specifically, this one.
Me: I like doing it on the albums of women who look like they’ve had portions of their spine removed.
My Lady: For real.
Oh Idolator, how I love you so. This just sent me into co-worker-disturbing levels of giggles.
“Everyone’s had their music featured on The O.C. It’s not that big of a deal anymore. A guy I know whistled in the shower yesterday, and the tune was purchased to be used on a very special “car accident” episode of One Tree Hill. Then Nic Harcourt called him in for an appearance on ‘Morning Becomes Eclectic.'”
If these rumors are true, I’m going to take up a collection and buy it. Who wants in?
On Late Night with Conan O’Brien last week, Bill Maher was discussing the results of the Iowa caucus and specifically the religious beliefs of some of the candidates. His crabassery was typically longer on style than substance, and then he dropped this bon mot on how it’s impossible to reconcile faith with science:
“You can’t be a rational person six days of the week…and on one day of the week go into a building and think you’re drinking the blood of a 2000 year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith, that makes you a schizophrenic.”
…and then went on to imply that all people of faith take the Bible as the absolute, literal truth. Check out the full clip here before it gets pulled from YouTube.
Let’s leave aside Maher’s questionable theology and his confusion over mental health terms or we’ll be here all day. But let’s also acknowledge that there are some people out there who do, in fact, base their knowledge of science on what it says in the Bible. They’re admittedly parts of the whole of the faithful.
Now, with this in mind, since I don’t confuse Bill Maher with his fellow cast members from Cannibal Women in The Avocado Jungle of Death, I’d appreciate it if he’d do me and mine the same courtesy and not lump all people of faith together.
In some respects, I can’t blame Maher for saying such dunderheaded things. It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t know any people of faith personally (or at least none that he respects) so he’s likely just assuming that we’re all from the same mold as dipshits like William Donohue or Pat Robertson.
Those of us who practice a quiet, private faith do ourselves a disservice in some respects. We don’t talk about how we’re as certain of the existence of Christ as we are in the existence of homo habilis (even though we got way better grades in religion than biology) because we’re so worried at being lumped in with the Donahues and Robertsons of the world, that we fail to offer any alternative view like how we’ve had lunch with priests often, but still find these jokes to be hysterical. In failing to do so, we allow the Donahues and Robertsons to be the public face of the faithful.
But the faith these men practice does not resemble mine, nor does it resemble the faith of the thoughtful, welcoming, social activist parishoners I worship with each Sunday (OK, every other Sunday sometimes): the (openly, for what it’s worth) gay priest who leads our service; the people who – when a family from Florida first visited our church on a morning off from staying with their son in his hospital room after he had been hit by a car while riding his bike – held hands with strangers and offered them prayers and counsel; the people who feed the homeless or created an anti-racism ministry or etc. etc. etc.
None of these people cracks a Bible before they make a decision about how to lead their lives, nor do they grab a concordance for help in answering questions about DNA or evolution. That’s because it’s not a rulebook for them, it’s a guide they use to have an ongoing discussion on how to challenge themselves to live a life based on love, justice and truth.
Now, I’ll admit my viewpoint is largely informed by my membership in an Episcopalian church that strives to make its liturgy accepting, inclusive and affirming. But that’s exactly the point.
In short, since they’re not the ones you see on television or read about in newspapers, it’s easier for Bill Maher to get you to believe that these people do not exist. But I have a feeling he’s not seeking them out either. Perhaps because it’s easier for him to maintain his own way of life when he has nothing to challenge it. It would probably result in too much cognitive dissonance and wouldn’t allow him to build a career on hackneyed, cliched generalities. Of course, I’m sure Maher wouldn’t be the type to do something he accuses others of. That would be schizophrenic or something.
Then again, maybe I’m wrong. After all, this is supposed to be the day that people like me are too busy drinking the blood of extraterrestrial immortals to have time for rational thought.
But unless people like me start speaking up, it’s too easy for others to assume there are those who do it for me.
I know I’m barely eking out a post a week here, but there’s a good reason for it that I’ll get into soon.
In the meantime, I’ve been reading a lot more blogs lately, which often overloads my brain. So I’ve been turning to the WGN Morning News blog as an amusing sorbet to cleanse my overburdened palette. But yesterday it uh…served up a course that was quite filling. (OK, I’ve bent that metaphor to the breaking point…onward!)
I want to direct you to a couple posts (1,2) from Ana Belaval, Around Town reporter for WGN Morning News. My appreciation for her is well-documented (if not a little hormonal*), and these two posts she’s written only serve to expand it. She lays bare the joys, fears, and difficulties most (not some, but most) new mothers have, especially those who have left a full-time job and plan to return to it. To whit:
It is a constant guessing game and when you think you have something down pat, the little bundle of joy changes the rules of the game. Add to that how sick I was after labor and how I cried every day for 2 weeks thanks to lack of sleep and hormonal mess, and I almost begged my boss to call me back to work.
It’s not only refreshing because of the topic – there’s still very little discussion in this country of the kind of physical and mental toll a woman undergoes after pregnancy – but also because of its presence on a corporate blog.
That’s not a dig against WGN’s blog, mind you. But blogs like that are designed to do certain things, and open up a frank discussion on the difficulties of working mothers isn’t usually one of them.
It’s illustrative of why blogs are important, why they require transparency to remain effective, and how they contribute to the culture even in ways you don’t expect.
* In retrospect, I probably would have written that post differently since it’s a little to close in content to what commenter #8 says, which is not an association I’d like to be guilty of. Especially since it’s the second post that comes up when you Google her name. Oh well, I can always blame it on this guy.
Next month’s People’s Choice Awards ceremony on CBS already sounds like it’s going to be a disaster without writers on-hand to make Jessica Alba sound witty(ish).
But it’s even worse than you imagined. Check out this screenshot I took from the commercial that’s advertising the event as a night with “all your favorites from movies, music and…”
T-E-L-E-V-I-S-O-N, people.
So in addition to the writers’ strike, there also appears to be a concurrent copy editors’ strike going on as well. And both have apparently resulted in such a catastrophic loss of revenue that all access to Merriam-Webster Online has been cut off.
