There’s is nothing in this story that isn’t purely factual. It’s all there, pure and simple. There’s no tone of condescension, no lingering hint of pomposity.

And yet…

And yet…

Something in the story doesn’t quite jibe. There’s something there that says “I can’t believe I had to cover this. I’d rather be a library board meeting.” I couldn’t figure it out for a while, and then I realized it:

He never tells us the winner’s last name. All the other contestants get last names. The winner? Not so much. Well played, Chris Hack. Well played.

Also, I’m resisting the urge to go for the easy joke on this cat’s name, because, frankly, that story is a silk purse from a sow’s ear if I ever read one. But if I was him, I’d see if I could convince the Web Editor (hint hint) to put a line break after my name so my byline didn’t read “hack staff writer.”